Final Thoughts On Strained Parent/Child Relationships

As my research comes to an end, I cant help but be amazed about all the information I have gathered and learned. By observing three different families, I have found many similarities, but yet many differences between each. Weather it's an issue with patience, the surrounding environment, or just a conflict of interest, all parents and children fight. But I honestly believe it's wrong to hit a child because you have no patience with them. If that's the case, maybe you shouldn't have had any kids in the first place. But maybe it's because of your surrounding environment. If it is, then try and get out of that environment. You can only better yourself and your relationship with your parents. Where is the harm in that?! If it's a conflict of interest, try solving the problem by talking to one another one on one. If that doesn't work, try going to a counselor or something to make the relationship better.

I have also learned that a brain area, called the amygdala, is known to be linked to the conflicts in teens. A research done at the University of Melbourne's Orygen Research Center in Australia reports that the areas of the brain may have a special link when it comes to teens who regularly fight with their parents. After participating in a problem-solving task that was designed to create conflict, 137 teens underwent a MRI brain scan to measure the the size of their amygdala. They found that the larger the amygdala, the more likely the kids were to fight with their parents. After the study, they found that children whose amygdala were larger were more likely to spend a longer amount of time being aggressive or angry with their parents during an interaction, so there was a relation to the size of the amygdala and how angry or aggressive the child was during the interaction.

Getting a teenager (and expecting mother) opinion really helped a lot too. My friend Gloria, who is turning 19 in August, and expecting her first child that same month, has given me her insight on my topic. She isn't like a lot of people out in the world now-a-days. She is expecting to do good for her baby, and give her a good life, and try to discipline her the best she can without hitting her when she gets older. She believes one-on-one talking would help, but if it doesn't, she would advise people to go to counseling to try and make the relationship better. She, just as some people believe both parties are at fault. Some kids try to become distant from their parents because they just want to do their own thing, etc. But at the same time, parents can strain the relationship by neglecting their child, and abuse the child in any way, shape, or form, etc.

I believe I have just reached the beginning of my research. I believe there is more information out there that I could really use in the future, so many more facts, so many more opinions, so much more news. I will continue my research only for the simple fact that I believe I have NOT completely answered my essential question!

Interview With A Child About Parent/Child Conflicts

I have interviewed Gloria Gonzalez about conflicts between parents and their children. This is what she had to say...

Me:" Do you know a parent or parents who has a strained relationship with their child(ren)?"
Gloria: "Yes I do."

Me: "How did the relationship get strained in the first place?"
Gloria: "My cousin is 10 and has ADHD, and because they're hyper and have a mind of their own, my aunt obviously doesn't have any patience with him so she gets stressed because of it and ends up getting mad and starts hitting him."


Me: "Do you think one-on-one communication would help the situation?"
Gloria: "I think it depends because they fight a lot. But it could work."

Me: "Do you think therapy would be a better choice?"
Gloria: "Yes. This way they could get their ideas out in a more healthy way in a more non-hostile environment."

Me: "What do children do to strain the relationship?"
Gloria: "I believe when children get older, they become more distant from their parents and choose not to get along with them, they backtalk, and don't talk to their parents about things that probably need to be talked about."

Me: "What do parents do to strain the relationship?"
Gloria: "Some parents neglect their children, they physically, emotionally and verbally abuse their children, they could spoil their children when they're younger and just automatically stop, or they could be too strict."

Me: "How should parents discipline their children in order to have a safe, healthy, loving relationship with their children?!"
Gloria: "Time-out when they're little, talking, grounding as they get older. But absolutely NO HITTING whatsoever."

Me: "Once you have a good relationship with your parents (or children) how can you maintain it?"
Gloria: "Conversations on a regular basis, family dinners, family time (bonding), apologizing for everything you put them through."

my final thoughts.....

so my journey on teen pregnancy is finally over but i just want to share a couple more things. my essential question in the beginning was what can be done about teen pregnancy? well my answer to that is that most teenage girls are more concerned with finding love and not paying attention to whats really important and what i think is important is talking i think thats the best thing you could do.

some important things that i have learned are the fact that most girls get pregnant and the guy either leaves or the girl has the baby and the parents make her give it away. I learned that some girls actually try and commit suicide because they dont know what to do and their all alone and under alot of stress.

My search was relly successful because i found alot of neat websites and they had alot of good information and alot of interesting facts that i didnt know. Im glad i picked this topic beacaue if i hadent i wouldnt have found out all the interesting stuff that i did. teen pregnacy is a reallly good topic to talk about because it might help someone who is going through it.

What i plan to do with all this information that i found is use it and to answer questions that i myself may have in the future or other people. I dont know everything about teen pregnancy but i do know some things and i would love to share. Teen pregnancy is a topic thats always gunna be around and the right thing to do is to just help people in need and thats what i plan to do with the information. I plan to help and everyone else should to.

Most teenage girls are looking for help when they are pregnant.some may have families who would support her and their may be some girls that dont have families who would support her. Thats why their are those places where girls can go for help. so they need us.

my final thoughts on "straight guys being more gay"

So.. I've learned a lot while doing my research on straight guys being more gay. In other words, did you ever notice how good of a connection a straight girl, and a gay guy have? Well a lot of girls are hoping to have that same connection with a straight guy as well. So to be more gay, I think means to be more open, maybe more sensitive, and more caring towards a friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Mainly straight guys towards girls, because guys don't seem to have the same problem that girls do with this situation.

I think my topic was very missunderstood by a couple of people. But the people who understood where I was coming from made a lot of good points, and agreed with my point of view. Just because a straight guy shows his sensitivity to a girl, doesn't mean that he's doing it for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes, yeah they do. But if a guy really cares about a girl, then he isn't doing it for all the wrong reasons.

A lot of people actually got where I was coming from though, I was a little nervous to do this topic at first because I thought I was going to get a lot of weird reactions from a lot of people. But the more I talked about it with people the more I realized that a lot of people feel that straight guys could be "more gay". The way it's worded throws people off... but when they actually understand the meaning of the question, they weren't so awkward about it. I talked to a lot of guys, who said that when it comes to to their friendship with their girl friends, not their guy friends, that yeah maybe they could be "more gay". Shaun commented one of my posts, and I liked how he put it. He said that maybe we don't want guys to be more gay, but just sort of "gayish". And I thought that was maybe a better way to put it.

I realized that most guys, think they always have to be tough, and that they can't show their sensitivity, because it would make them look "soft", or whatever you want to call it. But then again, there are also some guys that are already that way, and they don't care what people say. Those are the guys that are really good friends.

I don't think my question will ever be 100% answered, because it does go beyond the sensitivity to something, I'm not really sure what that is though. I just know that if guys could see things through a girls eyes, they would see how much girls would value their friendship if they would just try harder. They see how girls act with gay guys, and how they connect with them, and how much fun they have with them, and sure there are some that can act that way, without feeling gay, but the ones who can't should try. I've said before, that I don't have this problem, because I tend not to really get along with a lot of girls anyways, so I have a lot of guy friends, some who are gay, some who can act "gayish", and some that aren't "gayish" at all. And I connect with each of them the same way, some more than others, but the gay ones, and the ones who can act "gayish", are much easier for me to talk to about more personal things, like the things that bother me. The straiht ones, and the ones that don't act "gayish", are a little harder to try to talk about the personal things with.

wow horrible thing

so i found this really interesting fact about teen pregnancy and it stated that most girls end up giving the baby up for adoption. most girls get caught up in their lives and they wanna do what they think is best for them or sometimes they have to do what their parents say. most teenagers talk it over with each other and some dont it all depends on the person. anyway i looked on google some more and looked up teen pregnancy and things that can prevent it and it stated that abstience is one way or birth control but you dont got to listen to them. how you choose to handle it is your business. They also stated that you should talk to your partner before it happens and if you dont just make sure you talk weither its before or after. Its very important that you communicate with your partner. Each teenagers mind is dfferent. and each of them have a differnt way of handeling things. FOR example this girl on the web site talks about how her boyfriend was there for her the whole time and he was very supportive because he knew the responsibility he has now. Then their was this other girl talking about how her boyfriend said that he couldnt do it that he wasnt ready to be a father and that he was sorry. That girl is now leftby herself to take care of it which isnt righ but thats how somethings turn up sometime. but the girl knew she would never give up.

okay so...

Okay, so I typed in "fag hags" in the search engine on yahoo, and a wikipedia site came up. The definition on the wikipedia site for fag hags is the slang term for a woman who either associates mostly or exclusively with homosexual men, or is best or good friends to a gay man or men. It also says that "fag hags" are "frequently stereotyped as outgoing women who are seeking a substitute for heterosexual relationships, or who are secretly attracted to gay men. In fact, many women who identify s fag hags are already in romantic relationships, either with straight men or women but appreciate the alternative experience of socializing with gay men." That was copied directly from wikipedia.


I noticed that most people seem to think that my topic is about the sensitivity of a straight guy, compared to that of a gay guy, and yeah I guess that's part of it, but thats not all of it. My topic goes beyond just the sensitivity. It's about the relationship that girls seem to have with gay guys, that they don't really have with straight guys. I have realized that most straight guys aren't sensitive towards girls, but there are some that can be. I have a lot of straight guy friends, and a couple gay guys as friends too, and my relationship with the straight guys is just about the same as the guy gays, because some of the straight guys actually can be sensitive.

I understand that with guys, they don't want to show their sensitivity, because they think they will be made fun of, or that it will make them seem less manly. Or whatever it may be, but at the same time, why is it such a big deal?

Like I've said before, I don't personally have this problem, but I do know a lot oif girls who feel like they have trouble relating to straight guys, as friends, sometmes even more. So maybe if the straight guy was willing to be "more gay" then it would make things easier for both the girls and the guys.

Did You Know.. That A Brain Area Might Hold the Key To Teen Conflicts?!

I was searching the web and came across this website that had a lot of helpful information on my topic. The website showed that there was a recent study that was done, revealing that an area of the brain may be a reason why teens conflict with their parents. "some teens seem to seek out conflict with their parents more than others" (Dan Childs, ABC News Medical Unit). A new Research draws a link between teens' arguments with their parents and the size of their amygdala (a specific brain structure linked to emotions. Researchers believe the amygdala "may hold the key to how aggressive teens act toward their parents" (Childs).

This area of the brain is heavily involved in emotional responses and is linked to the "fight-or-flight" behaviors that typify our bodies responses to emergency situations (Childs). A research done at the University of Melbourne's Orygen Research Center in Australia reports that the areas of the brain may have a special link when it comes to teens who regularly fight with their parents. After participating in a problem-solving task that was designed to create conflict, 137 teens underwent a MRI brain scan to measure the the size of their amygdala. They found that the larger the amygdala, the more likely the kids were to fight with their parents.

"one of the things we found in our study was the children whose amygdala were larger were more likely to spend a longer amount of time being aggressive or angry with their parents during an interaction, so there was a relation to the size of the amygdala and how angry or aggressive the child was during the interaction" (Nick Allen, associate professor at the University of Melbourne's School of Behavioral Science).

But the findings are already being debated among child development experts. Some are concerned that the research could lead to a conclusion that it is the large amygdala of aggressive teens that necessarily fuels conflict, when a number of biological and social factors may be to blame.

"The problem with this kind of research is that it is correlational and only demonstrates an association. Even though not explicitly said, the underlying tendency is to assume this means causation -- in other words, that the structural changes cause aggression" (Merritt Schreiber, UCLA National Center for Child Traumatic Stress). "It says nothing about cause at all or interaction among factors leading to the results, which is likely extremely complex. I'm not even certain there is much agreement as to what the size of the amygdala indicates, or how good the data is on normal amygdala size in adolescence" (Daniel Kupper, assistant clinical professor of psychology and psychiatry at UCLA).

Still, some child development experts say that the findings make sense, given what's already known about the amygdala. "Amygdala over function creates a propensity to overreact to ... stressors and difficulty in disengaging in conflicts. Like firefighters rushing into a burning building while the rest run out, teens with biologically based over reactivity tend to be attracted to conflict, exacerbate out of it, and not be able to think their way out of it. Parents can learn to understand their children's violent behavior as a symptom of an underlying dysfunction rather than a sign of poor character or an indictment of bad parenting" (Kendall Johnson, a clinician in private practice in California and author of the books "Trauma in the Lives of Children" and "Dealing with Classroom Crisis").

"Focusing too much on the size of one particular brain structure -- and not enough on a multitude of other biological and social factors -- would be tantamount to ignoring 40 years of research on other factors that could contribute to teen aggression. These factors include parenting practices and media influences" (Schreiber).

"Ignoring these parts findings could misdirect parents in dealing with their teens' problems with aggression. More and more malfunction is being attributed to ill-understood deviations in morphology and physiology. This may have one possible benefit -- to reduce parents' feelings of self-blame. But until we know a lot more, I think thees are by far outweighed by the dangers in 'labeling' these adolescents as abnormal and doomed to conflict. We have so much established knowledge of the tremendous significance of family function, environmental pressures and education on these behaviors that I choose to stay with these explanations" (Dr. Barbara Korsch, professor of pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of the University of Southern California).

Childs, Dan. "Rebellious Teen? A Brain Area May Hold the Key." 02 25 2008 20 May 2008

an interesting fact

so i went on wikipedia and looked up teen pregnancy and i found out alot of interesting facts about why teenage girls are ending up pregnant. There was stories from other girls nd their sides to the story. They were talking about how their parents made them have an abortion and then their were other stories where their boyfriends or guys they became involved with would tell them that it would be all them if they got pregnant.I find that wrong because it would be their baby to so i think they should help even if they dont want to be with the girl. every day their are teenage girls getting pregnant and having to decide wat to do and where their gunna go from now. I think that most girls are scared to talk to someone and i think that they really should. when i went to google and typed in teen pregnany and lots and lots of web sites poped up because their are tons of girls telling their story.

my research on teen pregnancy

so my research on teen pregnsncy is going really well im learning alot of things that i never knew. alot of the things that im learning have alot to do with our society now and most girls now are actually keeping the baby because back then they didnt end up keeping the baby. either they werent ready or hey just didnt want it. i think that alot of the time the girl freaks out but in all "natural studies" the girl wants the baby put the parents or the guy makes her give it away.

Research on to see if there is any kind of movies on my topic on Paparazzi [[4th blog post]]

I went on Google and search paparazzi movies. I didn't know there are movies based on paparazzi. There's a movie that's called Paparazzi is based on my topic. The last post I did was about are paparazzi the reason for some celebs death? And this movie goes great with that post. This movie is about The film chronicles the life of a popular Hollywood movie star in the aftermath of a tragic car accident caused by four paparazzo tabloid. This movie was said to be thrilling! Paparazzi in this movie were called relentless, ruthless and even criminals. I went on Google and I searched information on the movie paparazzi and I went and clicked on a certain one that sound interesting (http://www.epinions.com/content_155397099140). In a paragraph on that page it talks about paparazzi even more. There is a lot of information on the paparazzi and the information on there is really interesting and it tells me more about the paparazzi and there job taking pictures and getting dirt from the paparazzi. I wanted to see if their were people that watch this movie before and get a review from them. I haven't got one person that watch this movie. So I went on Google, searched for reviews on the movie Paparazzi and some people said it was a good movie, some people said it was misunderstood and some people said it was just rediculous on some parts of the movie. People said its crazy how the actors of the paparazzi in the movie are similiar as the real paparazzi. People said its really rediculous how the paparazzi go crazy for just a stupid picture. But I know that those photos that they take worth a lot of money, but they need to calm down a lot more.

3rd research post...

So, I was reading this thing on "yahoo answers" about a gay guy who is openly gay, and he's in 8th grade. He's about to graduate and go to high school, but he is worried because he doesn't have any straight guy friends, and says all straight guys that he knows think that he has some kind of disease or something. And he wants to make straight guy friends to go through high school with but he is afraid that none of the guys in high school will want anything to do with him, just because he is gay. I think thats wrong for guys to not want to talk to, or associate with him, just because he likes guys, & not girls. He said he isn't looking for a boyfriend, just friends. So I don't see what the big deal is. That didn't really have all that much to do with my topic, but I found it interesting, because in a way it does relate to my topic. Because in my opinion if the straight guys, who don't want to be his friends were more like him, maybe more sensitive, if thats what you want to call it, then they would be more open & understanding of his preference, & not even judge him as a person or as a friend by the fact that he's not interested in girls.

2nd research post

So I was trying to find information on my topic on yahoo, or google.. but I had a really hard time finding information about it. There's not much you can put in the search engine about straight guys being "more gay", and expect to get a serious response on the topic. But I did find this one website, I think it was on yahoo, where people were asking the question how straight guys feel about gay guys, and stuff like that, and people were replying to the questions about how they felt. A lot of guys said they don't like it, but then some guys said they don't have a problem with it. Girls were also commenting on it saying that they really like gay guys, and that straight guys should be more sensitive and act more like the gay guys do. So I found that there are other people, who are also curious about my topic, and that theres also a few people that see things from my point of view as well.